The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
