once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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