Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
