yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
