yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
