I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
