i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
whose parrot is this?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
