the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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