I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
