so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
