Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
