i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
