I must be too annoying 4 u.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just made out with a guy for $7.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
