I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize