I'm going to jail i love you
North Korea, Best Korea!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
