Got a toothbrush?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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