Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
