Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
