Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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