3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize