Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize