apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
