he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
