Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
