no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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