Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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