Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize