He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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