I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
