yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
