Please, let me fuck your mom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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