Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
