Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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