im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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