matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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