Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
