You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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