Its about making memories worth repressing
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
