I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
