ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
