ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
