dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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