I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
