Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
