Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
