He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
