i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
