Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
