It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
