i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize