Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
