I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
