it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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