Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I still have a little drunk in my system
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
