I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize