I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we should paint friendship bongs
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