I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
